Childhood Sexuality (Ages 3 to 11) - Generalizations of Expressing Affection
Families also vary in the amount and type of physical contact in which they engage. Concerning children's needs for physical contact, we can make the following generalizations: All children (and adults) need freely given physical affection from those they love. The quantity and quality of physical affection influence both children's emotional well-being and the emotional and sexual health of the adults they will become. Children should be told, in a nonthreatening way, what kind of touching by adults is "acceptable" and what is "not acceptable." Children need to feel that they are in charge of their own bodies and that no one has the right to touch them with sexual intent. It is not necessary to frighten a child by going into great detail about the kinds of bad things that others might do to them sexually. A better strategy is to instill a sense of self-worth and confidence in children so that they are aware of appropriate and inappropriate behavior. We should listen to children and trust them. Children need to know that if they are sexually abused it is not their fault. They need to feel that they can talk to an adult and be heard.